Spring Cleaning

I am proud to say that this post is being written from my desk in my office/craft room. This is a huge accomplishment because prior to Friday night, my office/craft room looked like I hadn't stepped foot in it since August and a tornado swirled all around. It looked that way because I pretty much hadn't spent time in this room since August. You know that room that you always close the door when people come over? Yeah, this is it. It is my place to accumulate all the "stuff" that I don't want to take the time to properly put where it goes. Paperwork. Tax stuff. Birthday cards. Christmas cards. Empty boxes (?). Junk mail. School stuff. Crafty things. Whew. The room isn't completely finished yet, but I'm taking a break because I was feeling inspired for a post.

ADD comes out when I start cleaning. Meaning that I start on one pile, find something that makes me think of something else, move to a different thing to clean, and the whole process continues. I have to talk myself into getting one little thing accomplished before moving to something else. For example, while writing this, the dryer stopped. I checked on the sheets in the dryer and realized I needed to put clothes away that were on the bed. I put the clothes away and I noticed my tissue box was empty. I went to the bathroom to get a new box of tissues and saw the sheets in the dryer reminding me to finish putting clothes away so that I could put the sheets on my bed. Yeah... it's exhausting. It annoys me yet I always clean this way.

Going through this process and cleaning through piles of stuff has really had me thinking today. Lately I've been really grumbly and complainy (is that a word?) about life. I've been tired, grouchy, irritable, and just overall unhappy. In trying to figure out the reasons why or the culprit for these feelings, and I've come to a conclusion. I am exhausting myself by trying to do life on my terms, running around from one thing to another, searching for acceptance and approval... and coming up short. It's leaving me feeling inadequate, lonely, bored, and tired all at the same time.

I'm stepping back. I'm looking at the things that are frustrating me in life and realizing that I don't have to do it all. God has spoken to me the last couple of Sundays at church. A main point in the messages was "what you do the best, you should do the most." God has given us talents and gifts that we use in our careers and everyday life. When we push ourselves too much in a direction that He has not prepared us for or gifted us for, it becomes a struggle. Here are some points I wrote down from the past couple of messages:

• He packed you on purpose and for a purpose.
• What we decide is worthy is what we worship.
• The only mistake is to not risk taking one.
• The greatest risk we can take is to find our way back to the simple.
• When you are full of yourself, God cannot fill you with Himself.

That being said, I'm going back to the simple. I hear God telling me to slow down. Cleaning out my room of "stuff," I realized things I used to do that made me happy and that I enjoyed, but I just don't do anymore. I'm going back to that. Some of those things are gifts given to me and I'm not using them. The whole risk thing mentioned above..... that's for another post. Be blessed.