Another year came to an end. 2014. This year definitely had some rough spots, but I am thankful for the presence of my Savior through those times and the refinement that has taken place through it all. And the year definitely wasn't a complete drag. There were bright spots as well: new relationships formed, personal growth, quality time spent with family and friends, answered prayers, and many more.
As I was preparing to send out Christmas cards at the end of the year, I was scanning over my list of family/friends/coworkers that I usually send cards to. I review this list every year and make necessary changes: change names of newly married friends, add babies born to families, change addresses, add new friends, etc. This year, however, I had to do something that I wasn't prepared for at the time. I had to remove the names of 3 very important ladies in my life that are no longer with us. Taking those 3 names off of my list triggered an overwhelming sense of sadness and tears that I couldn't stop from happening. Just the simple fact of not being able to send them a card took me by surprise and sent the memories flooding.
Ms. Edie was my babysitter from the time I was 11 months old until I started school. She and her husband cared for me many times after school, on the weekends, and when I was sick. She was one of the most tender-hearted people, always selfless and giving. I developed my love of southern cooking and watching Wheel of Fortune from my time spent with her. And the song Amazing Grace. With one grandma who passed away when I was 4 and the other living out of town, she was very much like a grandma to me. She went to heaven in April.
My grandma, Shirley, was so thoughtful and always sacrificing for her family. With 5 kids, 11 grandkids, 16 great-grandkids, and a husband, our family kept her busy. We didn't live close to each other, and I wish we could've had more memories together than what we did. I remember her being at our house when I was going out on my very first date. She was helping my mom shorten my pants that were too long (imagine) and spoke so sweetly about me growing up. I remember holidays and birthdays celebrated together, Scotcheroos, and eating the most amazing steak I've ever had at her house. Her memory had escaped her in her last years, yet one of our last conversations was her telling me not to worry about not being married that "men are trouble anyways and you're better off without one." :) She still had her sense of humor and wit. She went to heaven in May.
Then there's Bev. Bev was my youth pastor's wife at church that was like a mother to so many of us. Growing up in the same church my whole life, you become family. Countless plays/musicals (Down By the Creekbank, Kids Under Construction, just to name a few), VBS, children's church, sleepovers, Workcamps, retreats, youth parties... an endless list of fun activities and time spent with this woman. She always took the youth girls for the important "girl talks" and led us all into a deeper understanding of who we are in Christ. She was definitely one of the most influential spiritual leaders in my life. When I was finishing up my college degree, I was short some teaching observation hours and she welcomed me into her kindergarten classroom. She introduced me to Dr. Jean (teacher friends who know my style know how important this is) and modeled excellence in her teaching. She made me a Chicka Chicka Boom Boom tree for my classroom my first year of teaching. She entrusted me to lead worship for 3/4 year olds at church. I have so much more to say about her in some upcoming posts that are already in the works. Truly one of the strongest, most compassionate, God-fearing, selfless, people in my life. She went to heaven in October.
While the deaths of these 3 important women were definitely difficult to handle, I have a peace in knowing that they are all in the presence of Jesus now, made anew and pain-free. I have confidence that we will be reunited again and it will be even grander than the memories made here on earth. Having our hope in Christ, and knowing that they are all believers in Him, makes their absence here so much more tolerable. Through all of the loss during this year, I have done much thinking and praying for unbelievers. Death is never easy, but trying to grieve not having Christ in your life or not knowing if the deceased are believers would be utterly unbearable. I have sung this song quite a bit this year:
"Sin has lost it's power. Death has lost it's sting. From the grave You've risen, victoriously. Into marvelous light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross, You are the truth, You are the life, You are the way." Marvelous Light, Chris Tomlin
Even through the lives lost and changes through the year, the sting of death is taken away through the grace offered to us in Jesus.
